What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +58

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -148

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops