What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops