Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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honest politician

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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i am and me is i

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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