Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

i died. new product by steve jobs

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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