A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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Waseem is a hard worker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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