A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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This comment has been removed for too many average votes.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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