Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

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Top Gear USA

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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<=3 penis

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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