what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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KOOKABURRA

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Safe sex MR

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops