Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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Women's Rights

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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