After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Cool story bro. Tell it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops