A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Cool story bro. Tell it again.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops