Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Nuneaton..

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

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all hail based mark

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what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops