She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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r u smart..... or ur black

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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Wanker

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UP

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Bad grammers.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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