A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Wanna hear a joke? Denver Broncos.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops