Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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why does column have a letter n?

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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who cares wats behind the green class door people cant be in it

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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-Children! Come inside! -Why? -We are going out...

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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