Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -148

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -162

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops