Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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hi, im sober.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Sarah Palin

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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