Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a joke and an anti joke Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

thumb_up thumb_down +146

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

thumb_up thumb_down +48

im gay because im gay

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Arron Glass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops