How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Women's rights.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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