whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops