knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

thumb_up thumb_down +23

68

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a man is shopping on black Friday...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -43

hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops