The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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Politics

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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