What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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men's rights.

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops