Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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