There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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How do you milk a cow? Make sure the cow is tied with a halter to a sturdy post or held in a stanchion. Clean the teats with soapy water or iodine. Warm, soapy water can help "bring down" the milk. Dry them, but don't rub or irritate the teats. Place a bucket underneath the udder. Better yet, hold it between your legs. This takes practice, but it can be done, easily and comfortably. This position lowers the chances of the cow kicking over an almost-filled pail of milk. Sit or squat in a position that will allow you to move away quickly if the cow becomes uncooperative. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, for example, is not safe. See Warnings below. A common milk stool is fabricated using two 2x4's cut and nailed to form a "T" - cut to fit your behind and make sure it is low enough to afford comfortable access to the underside of the cow. Apply a lubricant such as Vaseline to your hands to keep friction to a minimum. Wrap your hands around two of the four teats. Choose diagonal teats (front left and rear right, for example). Or, try the front teats first, then the back pair. Squeeze the base of the teat, after gently clamping each teat between your extended thumb and first finger, so that the teat fills your palm as you squeeze down. Squeeze down to push out the milk, maintaining your grip on the base of the teat so that the milk doesn't flow back up into the udder. Do not jerk or yank the teats. This motion is performed by sequentially squeezing your fingers from the middle to the pinky to force the milk out. Be gentle yet firm. Keep your eyes peeled for mastitis. Repeat with your other hand. Most people prefer to alternate (right hand, left hand, right hand, etc.) the downward squeezing motions because it takes less effort doing it in alternate steps than all at the same time. Continue until the quarter that you're milking looks deflated. Experienced farmers can feel the udder to know exactly when all the milk has come down. Often even looking at the quarter just milked can tell you if it's been emptied enough or not. Move on to milk the other two teats. If you use the diagonal method, switching sides is not necessary.

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There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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I did your mom-A FAVOR-by making you-A SANDWICH-my favorite part was when she stripped-THE LETTUCE-then i touched her boob-OO-then we fucked

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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Joke.

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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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