A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops