What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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Why didn't the Hawaiian man know how to surf? He lives in Kansas

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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