how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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A Pakistani news reader.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Women's Rights

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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yes i can connor, this is brett.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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