What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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what porn does a nugget watch nugget porn.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Girls soccer

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Sex education in Texas,

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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