Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Oh...okay, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Black people having a Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

In the movie Inception, what does the man do after he thinks about calling out to his children so he could see them one last time? The man calls out to his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops