If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the black man die? He was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the mime say to the girl? .......

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +32

once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops