what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock whos there open the door and find out

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yanter, Look it up

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

thumb_up thumb_down

If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops