What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

learn the ropes?

Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

i have an apple. now suck my dick

what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

How did th-A fridge.

what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

Womens rights

Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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