How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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You read the Terms of Service.

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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9

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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Punching a baby

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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