What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Har har hey

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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