How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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