what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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