If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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America

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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