Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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call of duty world at war

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops