I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -161

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -171

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops