What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Get in the car.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Women's Rights.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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A man buys free health care...

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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America

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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sexual intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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