What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops