Where is my tractor?

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Are you a tree? No.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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