What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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