you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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