What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

And more;

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

thumb_up thumb_down -8

And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The government

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops