What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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People with cancer.

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops