Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops