What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

Once upon a time, The end.

A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

You know what's catchy? A cold

What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

butt sex

Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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