Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops