What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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The MLS

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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