what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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you and your family will die tonight

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Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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