Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

One day a man walked into a wall

A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

women's rights

What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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